I am going to begin doing Tarot Card readings on a number of arbitrary topics if for nothing else than TO PROVE ITS INFALLIBILITY. 

Chapter 1:

How will the Patriots fare in the playoffs and will they win the Super Bowl?

Here is a chart of the standard Celtic Cross Layout:

(information unsourced from some anonymous other shitty tarot website because its the internet the world where nothing matters and Justin Bieber is king)

Card 1:   The present (Patriots)

Card 2:   The immediate challenge facing the querent (Patriots). You will often pull a difficult card here, which will indicate an obstacle that must be overcome. When you pull a “good” card here, examine it carefully because it will still represent a challenge. This second card represents an obstacle, opposing force or immediate challenge for the subject. This card shows “what crosses him.” (Jets defense, Ray Rice, ghost of Richard Seymour)

Card 3:   Goal or Purpose, What You Carry with you, Attitudes and Beliefs; this card represents an ideal outcome, or what the subject wants to happen––not necessarily the same thing (win the Super Bowl, not lay down and die in the playoffs,Tom Brady’s short hair, a defense that doesn’t fold in the red zone)

Card 4: This is the root cause of the current situation. It may refer to past events, or to an unconscious influence (Long Hair, Randy Moss, Benching Welker)

Card 5:   Place the fifth card on the left or right of the significator, away from the significator’s gaze (just put it to the fucking right like the diagram wants you to because it represents the recent past) If the card’s main figure looks to the left, put the fifth card to the right. This card represents an influence that is passing away - recent past (humiliating Bills loss, Ochocinco, Ellis, Ihedigbo, Haynesworth and Slater, season thus far)

Card 6: Immediate Future. This indicates events in the next few days or week(s). This reading does not cover months. (remainder of regular season)

Card 7: The subject as s/he is at present. Factors or inner feelings affecting the situation. Compare this against Card 1 in order to understand underlying forces/trends. If there is conflict between them this tends to indicate that the querent is going in the wrong direction.

Card 8: External influences. The subject’s environment and external influences, including how others see the subject. (NFL, Postseason, AFC East, Weather)

Card 9: Hopes or fears around the situation (laying down and dying in the playoffs, Brady getting injured, winning the Super Bowl)

Card 10: 10. The outcome, or “summing up” of all the cards; a likely outcome of the situation. (will the Patriots win the Super Bowl or not)

THIS IS KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN SAFELY GAMBLE ON.

Ok for the results (picture pending):

1. Queen of Swords

2. Four of Wands

3. The Tower

4. Six of Swords

5. Nine of Cups

6. Nine of Wands

7. Knight of Swords

8. Knight of Pentacles

9. Ten of Pentacles

10. Justice

Inconclusive. Trying again, Justice at the center.

Results:

1. Justice

2. Four of Cups

3. Ace of Swords

4. Nine of Swords

5. Four of Swords

6. Four of Wands

7. The Star

8. Eight of Swords

9. Page of Swords

10. Seven of Swords (futility)

They will make it to the Super Bowl and its going to look like its their year again, however, they will lose. The Patriots will not win the Super Bowl, perhaps even due to a key injury in the game itself. 

‘It is like a rheumatic boxer trying to “come back” after being out of the ring for years.’

 Ouch. Looks like its the Packers again; look for the Pats defensive line to fold like paper and their secondary disappear in thin air. You heard it here first.

Finally, just to prove something entirely different, read this blog.